When Aaron finally embarked on his professional athletic journey last week, he swiftly absorbed a harsh lesson that many a young individual thrust into the public eye prematurely has faced: Fame is a confining cell, a relentless force capable of dismantling one's sense of liberty with ease. Sherrod had cautioned Aaron about this, and by the time "Herald Street" rolled around, the reality of his situation was beginning to weigh heavily on him—particularly now that Shayanna was expecting, a monumental life transition that would inevitably consume even greater portions of his time and vitality.
Is Aaron destined to be a devoted family man? The narrative hints at an alternate universe where he could excel as a doting father; he possesses a playful, affectionate demeanor, and it's not as if he's completely devoid of empathy for others. Yet, he remains in the bloom of youth, with a vast ocean of self-discovery still awaiting him and precious little room to navigate it.
A significant aspect of this self-discovery pertains to his sexuality and interpersonal relationships. Aaron harbors genuine affection for Chris, especially after the opening scene's sun-kissed, romantic montage of their intimacy. Yet, he remains utterly incapable of acknowledging that his so-called "boys' trip" to Cabo transcends mere fun and secrecy, serving as an incidental distraction from his real life. When he nonchalantly reveals Shayanna's pregnancy during dinner, as though it's of little consequence, Chris is understandably perturbed—making it plain that this trip holds genuine significance for him. In response, Aaron can only stutter, "I'm not, like, that," dismissively brushing aside any attempts to delve into deeper waters.
Aaron's ongoing endeavor to have it all—to trivialize his romantic sentiments while maintaining his usual rapport with Chris—is beginning to take a heavy toll. A heart-to-heart with Tanya serves as a stark reminder that soon, regular boys' trips will no longer be an option, and even Chris is becoming weary of his incessant direct messages. Thus, we find Aaron on the cusp of becoming a father while concealing a painful breakup from his family, fiancée, and the entire world—everywhere he turns, cameras snap his every move. He is consumed by sadness, anxiety, paranoia, and an unprecedented awareness of the constraints of his lifestyle.
This emotional state sets the stage for the episode's pivotal event: the July 2012 murders of Daniel de Abreu and Safiro Furtado, two Cape Verdean immigrants whose sole misfortune was being in the wrong place at the wrong time. A mere accident of a spilled drink at a nightclub, fueled by Aaron's cocaine-induced rage, prompts him to desire their demise. He trails them with a reluctant Sherrod until they reach a stoplight. As he instructs them to roll down their window and unleashes a hail of bullets from his newly acquired gun, Aaron believes he is punishing them for teasing him—a perception likely conjured in his mind. But on a deeper, instinctual level, he is fighting back against all those who doubt him, everyone scrutinizing him in Boston and even nationwide. It's akin to his words to Sherrod just minutes before the悲剧 unfolds: None of this is real, and none of it is on his terms.
My reservations about Aaron Hernandez and the profound implications his story evokes remain abundant. Yet, as the series progresses to this juncture, it has unfurled diverse facets of its protagonist, rendering the steep decline we're witnessing plausible. With Aaron's hesitant embrace of Sherrod's Florida invitation, the narrative has seamlessly reconvened with its harrowing opening sequence—Aaron gunning down Sherrod and abandoning him to his fate. Matthew Hodgson's script meticulously underscores that, for the time being at least, Aaron's paranoia lacks any tangible foundation in reality; the Boston police seem unlikely to prioritize this investigation.
Before Aaron embarks on immortalizing himself with the "God Forgives" tattoo, he grapples with a maelstrom of paranoia and stress. Brian Murphy's news of a $40 million contract serves as a balm, offering him a semblance of tranquility and the financial wherewithal to procure a sprawling mansion and an opulent ring to propose to Shayanna at her baby shower. However, a severe ankle sprain confines him to bed rest for weeks, reducing his sole aspiration to transitioning from "injured" to merely "hurt" in time for the Seattle game.
The montage of Aaron popping Vicodin, toking on weed, and lounging around playing video games while icing his ankle is an entertaining spectacle, enhanced by the soulful strains of ScHoolboy Q's "Hands on the Wheel" (featuring A$AP Rocky). Meanwhile, Shayanna finds little amusement in her fiancé's laziness, as he struggles even to assemble a crib, perhaps indicating CTE's creeping encroachment on basic cognitive functions. Of course, this is precisely what Aaron prefers to overlook. He perks up upon hearing news of Junior Seau, the retired linebacker whose brain was examined post-suicide at 43, but when Shayanna later broaches the subject, Aaron has more pressing concerns.
Towards the climax of "Herald Street," both Aaron and his fiancée receive pep talks urging them to forge ahead in their marital journey. In response to Shayanna's venting about Aaron's temper and emotional detachment, her mother reminds her that as long as he's around, her child's future is assured. Tanya, concurrently, exhorts Aaron to settle down and find contentment in a "happily enough" existence, cautioning that abandoning the precious life he's built isn't worthwhile.
Their advice resonates, particularly considering neither family has ever encountered such wealth. Yet, given what we know, their words seem misguided. This episode, more poignantly than any other, underscores how insignificant a lucrative paycheck can be in the broader scheme of life. An Aaron Hernandez who retired from sports after high school, college, or even a year into his NFL career might have forfeited that staggering $40 million sum, but he could have gained the solace necessary to reconcile with his true self, encompassing more than just his sexuality. However, at every juncture, Aaron persists—gazing into the brutal, chaotic reality and then averting his eyes, never deeply contemplating the individuals he harms along his journey.
