Oh, Jay Pritchett, you continue to perplex us with your seemingly perpetual growing pains, only to disappoint us anew every time we dare to hope you've matured (often mistakenly thinking so after some pivotal, 24-minute mark moment in a "Modern Family" episode). Last night's installment found Jay hatching a scheme to pry Manny away from his mother's side and immerse him in socializing with peers ("This kid needs football," an incessant mantra throughout the episode, echoed subtly in many others), as though he's failed to grasp any lessons from raising the fiercely non-athletic Mitchell, who has blossomed just fine despite his jock-less past.
Jay's aversion was even more pronounced when Mitchell casually floated the idea of Claire donating an egg so that she, Cam, and a surrogate could conceive a child, a beautiful blend of Pritchett and Tucker DNA. We sided with Alex and Haley, who saw the brilliance in this notion (Luke was too engrossed in his simmering resentment towards Lily to offer a genuine opinion). It could have marked a transformative plot twist—a landmark event shaking up the show's predictable episodic formula while underscoring the family's unbreakable bond. If Claire and Mitchell eventually balked at the arrangement, so be it. But Jay's utter disdain for the idea caught us off guard—and even Gloria's revolted reaction was startling—as if surrogacy were akin to incest. Pure nonsense! We cherish the belief that modern families thrive on unconventional arrangements fueled by kindness and love.
Elsewhere, Claire and Phil rediscovered the enchantment of seeing glimpses of themselves in their children amidst domestic chaos. Luke had invited his lice-infested friend Leon over for some squirrel-related mischief, Alex and Haley were cleaning under Claire's eagle ears (she possesses an uncanny knack for overhearing "I'm bored" from any family member), a vase filled with marbles shattered across the kitchen floor, and Phil was overdue in taking a chair outside—a task he repeatedly postponed. Yet, chores took a backseat as Phil rushed to show a house to Steven and Stefan (Cameron and Mitchell's buddies)—for the fifth time. In real estate lingo, it was a Commission Impossible, but Phil sealed the deal this time around.
Claire, fresh from dropping off an anonymous friend at the airport, was in a heightened state of anxiety upon learning Phil had left the kids unsupervised. Fortunately, all ended well—no casualties ("Or we're all dead," quipped Luke, channeling M. Night Shyamalan). Haley mended the vase with glue, Luke skateboarded the chair out of the house, and Alex (aka Claire Jr.) wouldn't dream of allowing Luke and his eerie friend to harm the squirrel. The kids harnessed the best of Phil and Claire to keep everything under control, proving once again that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Meanwhile, Cam finds himself plunged into the abyss of despair, as the year has crept by (or at least since the premiere of Modern Family's third season), and he and Mitchell had decided to adopt a baby boy, yet progress seemed to have ground to a halt thereafter. In this interim, Steven and Stefan—wouldn't it be a delight if Stefan were guest-portrayed by Bill Hader?—had found a surrogate mother for their own offspring and have since basked in boundless bliss, which inevitably nurtured a hint of resentment in Cam's heart towards them. They hadn't even had to grapple with the dilemma of "who gets to frost the ice cream" (a metaphor for who would be the biological father), opting instead for the "swirl method": both contributing sperm, rendering the child's paternal origin a mystery. This might have seemed harmless until the arrival of little Rocco, a miniature Stefan. The so-called "swirl" turned out to be nothing more than a joke. Thus, when Claire and Phil took Cam and Mitchell out for dinner to celebrate the sale of their house to Steven and Stefan, a dejected Cam invented a drinking game—taking a sip whenever he felt downcast (to which Mitchell kindly reminded him that such games had a name: alcoholism). Ah, alcohol. Whether at family gatherings or office parties, it has a way of making everything slightly more bearable and infinitely more exhilarating. It's also one of the simplest, most reliable comedic devices in sitcoms. Drunken Claire is a highlight of Modern Family—watching this usually uptight, worrywart woman let loose is always a delight. But add drunken Phil, drunken Mitchell, and drunken Cam to the mix, and it's a side-splitting spectacle! Of course, tears are involved too. In fact, there are plenty of crying scenes here. After four or five drinks (accompanied by a series of smooth and witty conversations), the two couples decided to have a child together. They hugged tightly, as if the matter was settled. However, the scene shifts to the next morning, with a hungover Phil shaking his head from side to side, facing the camera. He encounters equally hungover Claire (sporting a Lohan-esque look), who is also having second thoughts. Having a child that isn't truly theirs felt odd. How would they navigate this situation? The camera pans again to a regretful, hungover Mitchell. And Cam? He's perky and busy using a computer program to synthesize photos of him and Claire's hypothetical child (though not as adorable as the one he synthesized with Justin Timberlake). While Cam thinks it would be cute for the child to call Claire "Auntie Mom," Mitchell finds it too "Appalachian" (nope, folks! We promise it won't be like that). But they do feel uneasy and desperately need to backtrack on this decision.
At Jay and Gloria's brunch, tensions flair as unresolved issues bubble to the surface. Manny, confined to a motorized chair due to a football mishap that arose when Jay canceled their theater tickets, finds himself in the spotlight. Jay's sentiments towards Manny oscillate between distaste for Gloria's overprotectiveness and a yearning for a more masculine demeanor in his stepson. His disdain for Manny's penny-collecting ritual with Gloria, a cherished game from their financially strapped days dreaming of turning 100 pennies into a lottery jackpot, further inflames the atmosphere. For what feels like the millionth time, Gloria is incensed by Jay's overcritical stance on parenting. Matters worsen when Jay's conservatism is tested by the prospect of Claire and Cam conceiving a child together, stirring up varied family opinions.
In a poignant moment beneath the clamoring table, Claire and Mitchell, who haven't shared such intimate privacy since Jay and Gloria's wedding, find solace in each other's company. Despite their father's disapproval, they concurringly deem Claire's role as an egg donor oddly inappropriate (though we beg to differ). Their embrace, far from incestuous, underscores their maturity and well-adjusted nature, hidden though it may be beneath tables.
As the episode concludes, realizations dawn. Despite being a jerk to his children, Jay sees a chance for redemption with Manny. When Manny proclaims the discovery of his 100th penny, signaling the time to cash in for a lottery ticket, Jay 're-verifies' Manny's count, only to find 96 cents short. This prompts more quality time between Manny and Gloria in search of those elusive four pennies, revealing a glimmer of growth in Jay, who perhaps keeps the dream alive out of genuine affection. Moreover, doesn't he owe them new theater tickets?
Realization number two strikes as Cam and Mitchell stumble upon Lily, donned as a toddler Carmen Miranda, meticulously organizing items. Though not biologically related, Lily's essence beautifully mirrors the best traits of both her parents. This enduring truth stands firm—except perhaps when Cousin Luke steps in for babysitting duties.
