There's an indescribable thrill in being proven right, in triumphing, in tasting success—especially when it intertwines with finances and besting your beloved significant other, the person you adore and cherish while secretly yearning to outshine. Tonight's episode might not delve into the whys, but it certainly serves as a poignant reminder. The epitaph 'I told you so' could very well adorn the tombstone of nearly every character here.
For the time being, however, here we have the entire ensemble reunited, poised to evoke a collective 'aww' at the mere thought of Luke sprouting a mustache—a feat he will never undertake, until he morphs into Adult Luke from last week, adorned with a luxurious beard.
Phil regales us with a duo of puns so grotesque yet brilliant, delivered with the guise of ordinary speech—Clameron/clamorin'. Clameron, as the celebrity moniker for Claire and Cameron, serves as quite the muse. What other delightful monikers could we conjure within the realm of 'Modern Family'? Let me initiate: Lilaley, Phuke, Manchell.
Mitch's aggrieved soliloquy, enumerating the myriad ways to say 'I was right and you were wrong', is nothing short of melodious.
Manny dreams of a life as a professional Broadway aficionado, while Jay aspires to embody Jay Leno. Make of these aspirations what you will. Here's our initial glimpse of Jay cradling his infant, Stella, as Gloria holds their human baby. An amusing tidbit: The house-flipping subplot has suddenly garnered as much screen time as the Fulgencio-Joe saga.
Gloria's Javi-heir, a Ph.D. scholar named Trish, stands distinct from the actress who portrayed Adult Alex last week – a fact I've verified numerous times on IMDb, to no avail. Trish, with a fondness for Manny that borders on adoration, employs the word "chivalrous" with elegance and ease, yet displays a perplexing detachment when it comes to the appropriateness of invoking classical art in everyday American discourse (hint: it's never appropriate).
Enter Gil Thorpe, a figure casting a shadowy blend of Chuck Norris's (legendary prowess) and Voldemort's (the enigmatic one who mustn't be named) essence within Phil's realm. Unmasked as Rob Riggle, a top-tier lovable jerk in the annals of comedy, Gil brings out the best in Phil – particularly in phrases like "prepare to Phil the agony of Dunph-eat." And judging by the trailer, Riggle is poised to make a comeback next week as well....
Jay parades his eerie butler-dog statue, a piece that earns the seal of approval from art aficionado Trish. Indeed, a butler-dog with ears as voluminous as sleeping bags echoes the whimsy of Warhol himself. Art, art, art everywhere. As for Manny's soon-to-be stepmother, she aligns more seamlessly with Manny's temperament than his first stepparent, Jay, but let's not delve into that terrain just yet. Instead, we venture into the realm of "Gloria Is Jealous and Feels Inadequate," a zone fraught with ugh-inducing moments.
Perhaps this is a personal gripe, somewhat akin to my mortal hatred for charades, but if I must endure a charades scene, I insist it be no longer than ten fleeting seconds.
Ed O'Neill portrays the act of sipping an aged, presumably impressive wine as though it were an ordeal; then Jay extols its delightful taste. I'm utterly bewildered. Is the wine laced with poison? Is this episode steering towards uncharted territory? Could it remotely resemble "Clue: The Movie" in any capacity?
We are courteously entreated to embrace the notion that Mitch has never once procured a brew. The very idea that beer is such an alien concept to him, rendering him oblivious to what constitutes an abundance, is quite the charmer. The household's fanatical transformation into a Zack-centric sanctuary stands poised. Our ears are delighted with the opening bars of "Super Freak" echoing more than once, reminding us fondly of Paul Dano's electrifying dance routine to the same tune in 'Little Miss Sunshine' – a gem that lit up 2006 like no other. Interjecting seamlessly, Ira Glass's voice emerges, invoking David Sedaris's name and simply being Ira Glass's voice, until they wisely curb the frivolity before bro-dude Zack morphs into an NPR-induced pumpkin or some such calamity.
Javier exclaims, "¡Ay, caramba!", and indeed, such chaos ensues. (Jay's serene, indifferent pleas for Javier to refrain from bursting through doors or reducing the house to ashes? Oh, absolutely ignored.) Trisha, whose name we've learned, albeit we'll never witness her again, experiences an emotional meltdown upon beholding Gloria's physique and overall charm. Fear not, Gloria; her distress was unfounded. You've merely gained another admirer. Your existence will be cherished and celebrated eternally.
Recall a couple of weeks past when we witnessed a 'Skyfall'-like plot twist months after the film had left theaters. But how impeccably timed was Haley's declaration of attending Coachella? COACHELLA IS PRACTICALLY UPON US! Mitch yearns to shout, "I. TOLD. YOU. SO!!!" so intensely that a pint glass cracks under his flustered grasp. Or perhaps his demeanor is unperturbed, and the incident stems solely from his unfamiliarity with beer – a learning curve, indeed.
Ty Burrell blinks, and the colossal Rob Riggle succumbs to his charm. As for Mitch, his reward for restraining his demonic urge to scold his partner? Cam ambushes him with a 'toldja so' of his own. No virtuous act goes unreciprocated with a 'toldja so'.
The show's return is not until May 1st, when it embarks on its final four episodes of the season. Cherish these rejuvenating and fulfilling weeks ahead. Beware of Thorpedos.
