As Five racks up a trail of agents slain and valiantly strives to avert the looming apocalypse, his reward comes in the form of a surprising promotion. After striking a truce with the Handler, this pint-sized assassin is relegated to a desk job within the Commission's corridors, where he's entrusted with the daunting task of ensuring the Hindenburg disaster unfolds seamlessly.
Five's inaugural day at his new post unfolds as a trove of darkly humorous vignettes, as he finds himself immersed in an office teeming with bureaucrats meticulously orchestrating a symphony of historical calamities and assassinations. Amidst the monotony, he stealthily gathers intel on the impending doom, yet the Handler's relentless admiration for her newest recruit proves a constant distraction, shadowing even his covert bathroom breaks armed with classified documents.
Despite this, Five's cunning and ruthlessness manifest in subtle acts of chaos, as he cunningly plants fake orders from the Commission in Hazel and Cha-Cha's hands, instructing them to terminate each other in a cat-and-mouse game brimming with espionage thrills. Though Hazel and Cha-Cha may not rank among my most beloved Umbrella Academy members, their spy-vs-spy antics provide a delightful diversion. Cha-Cha lures Hazel into the woods for a Miller's Crossing-esque confrontation, yet her heart falters at the final moment. Hazel, in turn, feigns a food errand to slip away and flirt with Agnes at the doughnut shop, only to set a trap for Cha-Cha at their motel, where she mistakenly fires through a shower curtain, believing Hazel was within. Too late, she realizes it was a ruse, and Hazel emerges victorious, knocking her unconscious.
Yet amidst the commotion, Klaus's narrative takes on a more poignant hue. With the world's end looming just three days away, and the Umbrella Academy collectively conceding their inability to halt it, Klaus resolves to regain his sobriety – and with it, his superpowers – to bid a final farewell to his beloved Dave. This endeavor necessitates Diego's intervention, who ties Klaus to a chair to ensure his commitment.
Love, it seems, permeates the air as the countdown to doom intensifies. Luther and Allison finally shed their inhibitions, embracing a Seeking a Friend for the End of the World-style romance with a kiss that, presumably, marks their first. While this development still strikes me as odd – adopted siblings, after all, are still siblings – Umbrella Academy presses forward with this unexpected twist, and so we find ourselves here, amidst the chaos and the heartache.
This sequence unfurls into a long-awaited, GIF-worthy dance extravaganza, seamlessly transforming into an idyllic fantasy portraying the harmonious life Luther and Allison could've woven together: Luther encased in human flesh, and Allison exuding a carefree aura unparalleled. Yet, even within this ethereal dance, traces of modernity linger. Despite the realization that their dreamlife remains an unattainable utopia, Luther and Allison embrace the fleeting moments, strolling hand-in-hand to cherish their final days before the impending doom.
Meanwhile, another tale of nascent affection takes a dramatic turn. In a seemingly careless yet suspiciously opportune moment, Leonard's negligence leads Vanya to uncover the concealed Hargreeves diary, hidden beneath a couch's shroud. The diary's revelations paint Vanya's abilities as "boundless, unpredictable, and perilous," prompting Hargreeves's conclusion: "mood-regulating medication to quell her potency." Could this revelation be the turning point that averts the apocalypse? Or, might it ignite Vanya's fury, hastening its arrival? The answer remains shrouded in mystery, for Five's true agenda unfolds simultaneously.
Discovering the name Harold Jenkins, whom he deems pivotal to averting the end times, Five abandons the Commission, sabotaging their time-travel paraphernalia along the way. He then darts back through time's labyrinth, landing at the very threshold of the episode's familial gathering. In this bold maneuver, Five resets the timeline's tapestry, erasing the aforementioned events from existence's ledger. Essentially, these occurrences, though technically etched in history's annals, now remain as though they were never etched—their repercussions undone, their memories lost. Luther and Allison's love remains untapped; Hazel and Cha-Cha's allegiance unshaken; Vanya oblivious to Leonard's deceitful facade.
One might contend that this entire episode veered towards the redundant—a mere filler amidst a ten-episode binge, perhaps akin to the occasional Netflix overkill where a few episodes too many linger. But as the credits gracefully unfurl, does its essence truly evaporate into irrelevance?
To a certain extent, this episode bears tangible consequences, shaping the narrative's tapestry. For Five, it was a pivotal moment, arming him with crucial knowledge and deftly thwarting the Commission's relentless pursuit. Yet, its significance extends beyond him, embracing us, the avid viewers, in its embrace.
It's akin to a fleeting glimpse into a parallel realm, where roads diverge and paths lead to either liberation or despair. Here, Luther and Allison finally found solace in each other's arms, while Klaus's journey towards sobriety rekindled a long-lost love. Yet, this universe also harbors darker shades, where Hazel and Cha-Cha were pawns in a twisted game of betrayal, and Vanya stumbled upon a heart-wrenching truth about herself and the enigmatic Leonard's fascination with her.
Now, let's delve deeper into Vanya's formidable abilities, potentially the stuff of cosmic upheaval. It's tempting to dismiss Hargreeves' potential benevolence in sparing his daughter's life—the evidence of his icy, abusive nature towards all his children is undeniable. But if his sole intention was to contain Vanya's power, the ultimate solution lay in his palm: eradication. Six episodes in, Hargreeves remains a colossal, impenetrable void at the narrative's core, shrouded in mystery. By season's end, will we finally unravel the layers of this enigmatic figure, or will he remain an unfathomable enigma?
