For months, the sightings were fleeting and distant, more akin to the ethereal landscapes of the Arctic than the gossip pages of tabloids. In July, they were spotted walking a dog and later dining at a restaurant in Montreal, before disappearing into a summer hibernation that left us wondering: were they, or weren't they?
Then, in September, a California whale-watching trip delivered the ultimate nautical sighting of all, when a passenger snapped an entwined romantic duo on top of a yacht from a distance. As the image was enhanced, the photographer recognized the former Canadian prime minister Justin Trudeau by his intricate Indigenous tattoo, though seemingly failed to recognize the incredibly famous pop star Katy Perry by the fact that they were canoodling on her sleek 78-foot motor yacht, the Caravelle.
It seemed they were a match made in some strange year for both of them. Trudeau announced his resignation in January, leaving Canada to conduct its ongoing conflict with America without him; he was replaced in April. That same month, Perry resigned from the planet, taking a bizarre and disastrous celebrity trip into the earth's thermosphere with Gayle King and then-Bezos-bride-to-be Lauren Sánchez. They rode Bezos' Blue Origin rocket into the very nearest edge of space, making Perry a laughingstock for some inexplicable reason.
Was it the cringe moment of her kissing the ground upon return? Was it the dated all-woman-crew girl-boss vibes of the trip? Was it that they essentially lit a bunch of money on fire for no good purpose, while it felt like the world was already burning? Or were these ill vibes personal to Perry - some nefarious Orlando Bloom-led negative PR campaign? For, we would soon learn, Perry was separating from her fiancé, old Legolas himself.
Whatever the reason, she went from "pop royalty to America's favorite punch line" overnight. It was only her slow romantic defection northward that kept her brand out of deep crisis. Trudeau has made her the butt of a kinder sort of joke: "Katy Perry Releases New Single About Superiority Of Canadian Manufacturing," ribbed The Onion. This trade war of the heart is paying dividends.
Now, they are officially out of the closet, and we know because Pop Crave says so: "Katy Perry & Justin Trudeau are officially dating," the gossip account of record posted over the weekend. And here she is, triumphantly on the front page of all the best English tabloids. It was her birthday on Saturday. She threw a big party at the Crazy Horse cabaret in Paris. She and Trudeau not only held hands but also apparently left the party together. They honestly looked great.
