At a predominantly white university, being a Black student often entails enduring the exploitation of one's image in the name of "diversity," a virtual rite of passage. Imagine those meticulously compiled pamphlets, adorned with group photos of smiling young faces from every conceivable racial and ethnic background, as if their academic futures hinged on displaying those perfect pearly whites. My personal favorite? The candid snapshot of a solitary Black individual strolling across campus, akin to a rare Bigfoot sighting, with extra credit if they sport an especially "ethnic" hairstyle. I even found myself ensnared in this diversity trap once, when a campus photographer, lurking like a ghost outside the Student Multicultural Center (a goldmine for ironic jokes), asked for my picture. Ironically, research reveals that the whiter a school's population, the more likely it is to splash diversity across its brochures, particularly highlighting Black students.
In the hilarious TV show "Abbott Elementary," white institutions' use of diversity as a marketing gimmick is lampooned during a school tour of Girard Creek, the newly completed golf course. The invitation to a "sneak peek" of the "pre-grand-opening preview" had the staff scenting a rat, suspecting it was merely a ploy for free labor—Mr. Johnson joked about being roped into pulling Michael Jordan out of a golf hole, à la "Space Jam." Yet, the promise of gourmet freebies swayed them. And not just any sustenance; Girard Creek offered a culinary smorgasbord fit for royalty, featuring ceviche, ahi tuna, and white truffles sourced from Alba, Italy. For Gregory, an exceptionally fussy eater, this dining spectacle was a nightmare scenario. Seeing an opportunity for exposure therapy, Barbara seized the moment to prepare Gregory for a French restaurant date with Janine.
As staff and students filed into the luxurious facility, Janine was on high alert, fearing a "Get Out"-like twist. Miles, the lawyer bridging the course and Abbott, conducted the tour, pointing out the breathtaking views once occupied by the ancestral lands of the Lenape people, whom they wished well. Everything was state-of-the-art, including a framed photo of Charlie Sifford, the pioneer Black golfer on the PGA Tour. This image should have served as the first clue about Abbott's real reason for being there (Miles's talk about celebrating the "rich and diverse history of the game" was code for "we know we have a race issue"), but Janine was momentarily distracted by the exquisite Arnold Palmers. Despite downing glass after glass of the iconic beverage—a staggering 17 throughout the episode—Janine remained wary of Miles's intentions.
Gregory, too, was engrossed in the course's refreshments as Barbara coerced him to confront his narrow culinary horizons. Gregory's picky eating had long been a running joke on the show, but when Erica backed out of a hard-won reservation, Barbara prodded Gregory to step in so Janine wouldn't have to cancel. Reluctant and wary of food that was either "dusted, crusted, or untrusted," Gregory was reassured by Barbara that sharing an intimate meal was crucial for a healthy relationship, especially with someone who relished eating as much as Janine. However, when he reacted with vehement disdain to a waiter offering ahi tuna ("Hell no!" were his exact words), Barbara saw how unprepared he was for a genuine fine-dining experience. She dared Gregory to accept whatever the next waiter offered, which happened to be a deviled quail egg. He flunked this test, paralyzed by his "options," and when the subsequent waiter presented him with sea urchin, he bolted, declaring himself a "freak." Finding him hiding from exotic delicacies, Barbara handed him what he believed to be plain buttered noodles, which he devoured instantly. Unbeknownst to him, truffles adorned his meal. When Barbara pointed out she had tricked him into eating something he claimed to dislike without even trying, he finally felt prepared to tackle the restaurant.
Meanwhile, Ava and Melissa eagerly indulge in the truffles that Girard Creek had airlifted especially for the grand opening, an act that suddenly strikes them as peculiar given the abundance of such a rare delicacy at the golf course. These exquisite truffles, which only thrive in specific seasons in Alba and are meticulously unearthed by "special pigs," are an indulgence known to Ava, a connoisseur of fine things, commanding an astonishing price of $4,000 per pound. Melissa, with a tongue-in-cheek remark, jokes that there are so many truffles scattered around that their disappearance might go unnoticed, a comment that ignites a spark of mischief in the two savviest members of Abbott's staff. Ava diverts everyone's attention by dramatically announcing her impending acrobatic feat of back flips and roundoffs, only to abruptly rescind her statement as Melissa swiftly helps herself to as many truffles as she can manage.
Elsewhere, Janine's suspicions are confirmed when she and Jacob witness Miles embodying a reality-TV producer, coaching a student to sing the praises of the golf course in front of a camera. Miles brushes off the filming of a minor as merely "gathering feedback," but Janine and Jacob, sensing something amiss, begin inquiring with their students about the situation, reminding them that they needn't lie about enjoying golf for the sake of the camera. Surprisingly, the students genuinely seem to be having a blast, particularly RJ—an activity that Jacob has yet to find to ignite his enthusiasm. To Jacob's astonishment, RJ is smitten with the game, flashing a grin wider than ever as he immerses himself in the virtual golf simulation. However, when Miles assembles the school for a group photo, segregating the white staff and students (or, more accurately, the solitary black student) to the background and summoning a three-legged dog to pose with them, Janine catches a glimpse of the underlying narrative. Matters worsen when Miles, in response to RJ's inquiry about getting more involved, encourages him to return when he's older... to be a caddy. Like the misleading promises of diversity-focused college brochures, the unspoken truth is palpable: Black faces serve as publicity bait but not as genuine participants.
One commendable aspect of "Abbott Elementary," both on-screen and behind it, is its refusal to portray the students as dependent children needing our pity. They allow Black children to exist in all their glory, devoid of turning them into mere statistics or cautionary tales. While this nuanced portrayal is usually crafted with care and intention in the writers' room, this episode shines a light on how the characters within the show's universe react to the students being treated as charity cases. Upon seeing the course's Instagram post featuring the group photo with hashtags like #BlackLivesMatter and #CharityDay, Ava, Janine, and the rest go into action mode to defend their students. First, Janine and Jacob confront Miles about misrepresenting the true reason behind inviting the school to tour the facility, but he remains indifferent, dismissing it as "business as usual" since Abbott had blackmailed him first. With Miles clearly not backing down easily, Janine and Jacob rally the other teachers to avenge their students.
With Arnold Palmer in hand, Jacob, Ava, Melissa, and an exuberant Janine burst into Miles' office, their demand for a free golf club for Abbott students ringing out like a clarion call, hoping the enticing prospect of a tax break would sway him. Yet, Miles stood firm, his resolve unyielding, refusing to grant any more favors to the school. Frustrated, Janine summoned Gregory, hinting at a confrontation reminiscent of their previous altercation. Though no blows were exchanged, Melissa cleverly wielded the stolen truffles as bargaining chips, with Gregory looming ominously, ready to devour every last mushroom, thereby thwarting the grand opening's culinary delights. Gregory devoured one with the ferocity of a ravenous beast, while Janine, her spirits lifted by a concoction of iced tea and lemonade, demanded to know the secret ingredients of their drinks with unbridled aggression. Finally relenting, Miles caved in to their demands, and the teachers triumphantly returned to school, with RJ beaming with excitement about his newfound extracurricular passion.
After school, Janine and Gregory retained their reservation, with Gregory donning the role of a dedicated gastronome, amusingly extolling the "blood" that accompanied his braised lamb. Janine corrected him, revealing that the so-called blood was actually a red-wine reduction. However, it was Janine who first threw in the towel, confessing her distaste for the cuisine. With a sigh of relief, Gregory admitted he too hadn't been enjoying the meal, and the couple exited the restaurant, presumably on their way to seek out something more to their liking.
