It has almost become a ritual for Black students attending predominantly white universities to endure their images being exploited in the name of “diversity.” Imagine those meticulously assembled pamphlet group photos, featuring young faces from every conceivable race and ethnicity, beaming as though their academic future hinged on that picture-perfect smile. My particular favorite is the “candid” capture of a solitary Black individual strolling across campus, akin to a Bigfoot sighting, earning extra points if adorned with a particularly “ethnic” hairstyle. I even found myself in such a scenario once, when a campus photographer, lurking suspiciously outside the Student Multicultural Center (the ironies write themselves), requested my portrait. Ironically, a study revealed that the whiter a school’s population, the more likely it is to exaggerate its diversity in brochures, particularly highlighting Black students.
The television series "Abbott Elementary" skewers white institutions that utilize diversity as a mere marketing ploy when the staff tours Girard Creek, the newly completed golf course. The invitation to an exclusive “sneak peek” of the “pre-grand-opening preview” initially sparked skepticism among the staff, who suspected it was merely a ploy for free labor — Mr. Johnson joked about being forced to “pull Michael Jordan out of a golf hole,” referencing the iconic scene from "Space Jam." However, the promise of complimentary gourmet cuisine swayed them. And not just any ordinary fare; Girard Creek offered an exquisite smorgasbord, including ceviche, ahi tuna, and white truffles sourced from Alba, Italy. For Gregory, a notoriously picky eater, this dining experience was a nightmare scenario. Seizing the moment, Barbara used it as an opportunity for exposure therapy, preparing Gregory for an upcoming date with Janine at a French restaurant.
As the staff and students filed into the facility, Janine remained defensively vigilant, fearing a "Get Out"-like situation. Miles, the lawyer serving as liaison between the course and Abbott, led them on a tour, highlighting the breathtaking views of what once was the ancestral land of the Lenape people, whom they “hoped were thriving.” Everything was state-of-the-art, and there was even a framed picture of Charlie Sifford, the pioneer Black golfer on the PGA Tour. This photograph should have served as the first clue that there might be more to Abbott’s presence at the course than meets the eye (Miles’s comment about celebrating the “rich and diverse history of the game” was code for “I acknowledge our race issue”), but Janine was momentarily sidetracked by the exquisite Arnold Palmers. Despite downing glass after glass of the iconic beverage — she consumed an astonishing 17 throughout the episode — Janine remained wary of Miles’s intentions.
Meanwhile, Gregory was equally distracted by the course’s refreshments as Barbara coerced him to confront his limited diet. Gregory’s pickiness had been a running joke on the show, but when Erica backed out of a hard-to-obtain reservation, Barbara encouraged Gregory to step in so Janine wouldn’t have to cancel. He hesitated, describing the food as either “too fancy or unreliable,” but Barbara reassured him that sharing an intimate meal was crucial for a healthy relationship, especially when dating someone who loved eating as much as Janine. However, when he saw a waiter offering ahi tuna (his exact words were “hell no!”), it became evident how unprepared he was for a genuine fine-dining experience. She dared Gregory to accept whatever was on the tray the next time a waiter passed by, which happened to be a deviled quail egg. He failed this challenge, paralyzed by indecision, and when the next waiter presented him with sea urchin, he bolted, exclaiming that he was a “freak.” Barbara found him hiding from all the exotic cuisine and handed him what he believed to be plain buttered noodles, which he devoured immediately. Unbeknownst to him, a generous shaving of truffle adorned his meal. When Barbara pointed out that she had convinced him to eat something he had insisted he hated without even trying, he finally felt prepared to tackle the restaurant.
Meanwhile, Ava and Melissa eagerly indulged in the truffles that Girard Creek had specially flown in for the grand opening, their delight soon turning to curiosity as they pondered the oddity of such an abundant supply of these rare delicacies at the golf course. These particular truffles, which could only be found in Alba during specific seasons and harvested by "special pigs," were known to command an astonishing price of $4,000 per pound, as Ava, a connoisseur of fine things, pointed out. Melissa joked about the abundance, suggesting that the course might not even notice if some went missing, sparking a mischievous idea in the minds of the two most street-smart individuals at Abbott. Ava cleverly distracted the room by announcing loudly that she was about to perform a complex acrobatic sequence, only to retract her statement abruptly after Melissa had successfully pilfered as many truffles as she could.
Elsewhere, Janine's skepticism was confirmed when she and Jacob witnessed Miles coaching a student to sing praises of the course for the camera, in a manner reminiscent of a reality-TV producer. Miles dismissed filming a minor as merely "getting some feedback," but Janine and Jacob sensed something was amiss and began inquiring with their students, reminding them that they needn't lie about enjoying golf for the sake of the camera. However, to their surprise, the students seemed genuinely enjoying themselves, particularly RJ, who had found an activity that truly engaged him – the virtual golf simulation had him beaming more broadly than ever before. But when Miles assembled the school for a group picture, segregating the white staff and students (or rather, the solitary white student) to the back of the shot and summoning a three-legged dog to pose with them, Janine immediately saw through the charade. Matters worsened when Miles responded to RJ's question about getting more involved by encouraging him to return when he was old enough... to be a caddy. Just like the hollow promises of diversity-focused college brochures, the unspoken truth was clear: Black faces were valuable for publicity but not for genuine inclusion.
One of the notable aspects of "Abbott Elementary," both onscreen and off, is the show's refusal to portray its students as charity cases in need of pity. Instead, they allow Black children to exist in all their glory, without reducing them to statistics or cautionary tales. While this is usually done with care and intention by the writers, this episode highlights how the characters within the show's universe react to the students being treated as such. When Ava saw the course's Instagram post of the group picture with hashtags like #Black Lives Matter and #Charity Day, they went into beast mode to defend their kids.
First, Janine and Jacob confronted Miles about misrepresenting the reason for inviting the school to tour the facility, but he was indifferent, brushing it off as "par for the course" since Abbott had blackmailed him first. With Miles clearly not willing to back down easily, Janine and Jacob enlisted the other teachers to stand up for their students. Jacob, Ava, Melissa, and Janine (with another Arnold Palmer in hand) stormed into Miles's office, demanding a free club for Abbott students to learn golf, hoping the accompanying tax break would serve as a great incentive. Miles remained steadfast, refusing to do any more favors for the school. So, Janine called in Gregory to confront him – a callback to the fight episode that had everyone chuckling. Obviously, no one laid a hand on Miles, but Melissa used the stolen truffles as leverage, with Gregory threatening to eat every mushroom, leaving none for the grand opening. Gregory scarfed one down like a ravenous animal, while Janine, fueled by iced tea and lemonade, aggressively demanded to know what was in their drinks. Miles eventually gave in and agreed to provide the club, and the teachers returned to school with RJ thrilled about his new extracurricular activity.
After school, Janine and Gregory kept their reservation at the restaurant, with Gregory doing his best to play the role of a dedicated foodie, even hilariously praising the "blood" complementing his braised lamb. Janine corrected him, explaining that the blood was actually a red-wine reduction. However, she was the first to admit she didn't like the food. Relieved, Gregory confessed that he hadn't enjoyed it either, and the couple exited the restaurant, presumably on their way to find something more palatable.
