I must confess something. Prior to this assignment, I had never given "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" the attention it deserved. And there was a valid reason for my neglect! Can you recall a piece of media that is inextricably linked in your mind to a fleeting romance that fizzled out due to the other person's annoyance? However, when Abbott announced the crossover episode, I realized I had to revisit the series as part of my recap responsibilities. If I overlook any crucial references or jokes, please don't hesitate to point them out in the comments.
The initial episodes were somewhat of a slog to get through — I felt like I had missed out on an entire season sans Danny DeVito — but now, halfway through the second season, I can honestly say I'm pleasantly taken aback. Yet, upon hearing about the crossover, I found myself pondering the same question that many others did: What mischief could this group of miscreants possibly wreak upon our cherished "Abbott Elementary"?
During the opening scene, Abbott sets the stage: the infamous owners of Philadelphia's worst bar are volunteering their time, and the staff is thrilled as they are stretched thin. But anyone who has watched "It's Always Sunny" knows that Dee, Mac, Charlie, Dennis, and Frank don't have a single selfless bone in their bodies and care nothing about Philadelphia's youth.
As Abbott's staff quickly discovers, the gang is there to fulfill 100 hours of community service for dumping 100 gallons of baby oil, 500 Paddy's Pub T-shirts, and a Cybertruck into the Schuylkill River. Ironically, this mirrors a plot from season two of "It's Always Sunny," where Dee, Mac, and Dennis were once again sentenced to community service after committing arson and were forced to coach a youth basketball team. That storyline is tied to one of the original running gags about Charlie's illiteracy, an issue that becomes glaringly obvious during his time at Abbott Elementary. In that episode, the gang gets swept up in the competitiveness of coaching, approaching their time at Abbott Elementary with the same fervor and absurdity that the show has become known for.
Melissa, noting their familiarity, is the only one who has encountered the owners of Paddy's Pub before, and they engage in what Ava calls a Caucasian cultural exchange. Melissa recognizes them first from a fight at an Eagles game — Go Eagles! — and later from "the skeeviest bar" she's ever been to. She dubs them lowlifes, forcing them to reveal their criminal past. Janine convinces her coworkers to let them stay, emphasizing that their crime was merely a misdemeanor, and if they send them away, the district won't provide more volunteers. Everyone pairs up with their foil: Dee heads to Janine's classroom; Mac assists Ava with her principal duties; Charlie fixes a vent in Jacob's class; and Frank lends a hand with Gregory's garden. Dennis, meanwhile, spends most of his time behind the camera, knowing "quite a lot about filming and consent."
The crossover injects a healthy dose of adult humor into "Abbott Elementary," something the show has started to shy away from in the more kid-centered episodes (even Melissa's funny eating ass line felt strangely vulgar, though we've heard raunchy jokes before). Each insufferable member of the gang serves to highlight the optimism and resourcefulness of the Abbott staff.
It all commences with Jacob, who takes note of Charlie's inability to decipher any of the words on the board, mistaking "World War I: The Industrial War" for "Innovative Wear." Realizing Charlie's ineffectiveness among the older students, Jacob leads him to Melissa's classroom and voices his apprehension regarding Charlie's literacy skills. Melissa suggests that perhaps Charlie shares her dyslexia, but Charlie's bizarre spelling attempts (such as informing a student that "light" is spelled L-I-Y-T-L) convince Melissa that there might indeed be a deeper issue at play. They escort Charlie to the library, where Barbara, driven by her past experience teaching adult literacy classes, feels compelled to turn Charlie's situation into a personal project.
Initially, Charlie denies being illiterate and seeks refuge in the bathroom to evade the truth. However, with perseverance, Melissa and Barbara manage to elicit an admission from Charlie about his struggles with reading. They gently guide him through a children's book about birds, demonstrating how to sound out each word meticulously.
In the garden, Frank leverages his street-savvy experience to assist Gregory and Mr. Johnson in warding off raccoons. They contemplate sprinkling chili and garlic powder on the compost as a deterrent, but Frank instead scatters old batteries all around, insisting they are laden with "rare earth metals." He further advocates for intimidating the raccoons by using pelts soaked in "alpha predator" urine to send a strong message. When the raccoons brazenly rummage through the seasoned compost later in the day, Frank presses for his strategy to be implemented. Disgusted, Mr. Johnson proposes using a large cage to capture the critters. Following an exhilarating exchange (DeVito and William Stanford Davis excel in their playful antagonism), Gregory extricates himself from the dilemma, leaving the two eccentric men to hash it out amongst themselves. Mr. Johnson sets up both the cage and the urine-soaked pelts. Days pass, and he summons Gregory, announcing they've caught something massive. Inside the cage lies Frank, who turns out to be the one who devoured the seasoned compost and returned for more under the cover of night, only to get stuck in the trap and eventually doze off.
Elsewhere, Dee and Janine instantly form a bond as fellow Penn alumnae. Dee engages the students in a Benjamin Franklin cosplay, assists in taking down Christmas decorations that Janine struggles to reach due to her height, and aids in grading. However, the harmony is disrupted when Gregory enters the room, his muscles bulging beneath his cardigan, in search of left-handed scissors. Entranced by Gregory, Dee makes it her mission to seduce him. Janine is astounded that Dee is attempting to make a move on her boyfriend and tentatively explains their relationship, hoping it will deter Dee. Conversely, the mere thought of competition for a man fuels Dee's determination, prompting Janine to hastily seek refuge in Ava's office, urging her to dispatch the gang.
Ava vehemently disagrees, highlighting Mac's invaluable assistance. Eager to fulfill his community service hours swiftly, Mac strives to be as productive as possible in the shortest span, hoping Ava will sign the paperwork and absolve him of his duties for the remainder of the week. Little does he realize, this underestimates Ava's prowess for exploiting individuals. She assigns him increasingly impossible tasks while promoting him to vice-principal. He fetches her coffee adorned with latte art of her face, steams her clothes, details her car, and brings fresh cinnamon rolls. Thus, when Janine frantically bursts into her office (her breathless exclamations amusing Ava), Ava refuses her plea, even threatening to frame the gang for another crime, thereby compelling them to serve more hours.
The following day, Dee arrives at Abbott's doorstep, resplendent in a slinky black dress and towering heels, her intention clear: to swoop in and snare Gregory. Janine, undeterred by her rival's glamour, stands her ground, ushering Dee into the hallway with steely resolve and doffing her glasses, prepared to defend her territory despite her lesser physical stature. Alerted by the unfolding drama, Gregory steps in to diffuse the tensions brewing among the Philly ladies. Locking eyes with Janine, he affirms, with unwavering conviction, that regardless of Dee's devious schemes, she alone holds his heart, and no other woman, "particularly not that one," holds any allure for him. Janine, her tension melting away with a sense of relief, retreats to her classroom, reassured by his steadfast loyalty.
Undeterred by Gregory's monogamy, Dee's illicit fantasies only intensify, and she boldly propositions Gregory for an illicit encounter in the gymnasium. Elsewhere, Charlie's nascent literacy skills are put to the test during a bumbling read-aloud session in the library. When he confidently recites a challenging sentence from the book's backmatter, detailing the loggerhead shrike, an endangered Pennsylvania bird species, Ava seizes an opportunity to procure a new scoreboard for the school. Initially, she had planned to secure it through her arrangement with the golf course's lawyer, but a phone call reveals that the course's new unionized workforce has stripped her of leverage. Determined, Ava enlists Melissa's "egg guy" to plant loggerhead shrike eggs on the site, giving her grounds to threaten construction delays by alerting the Bird and Game Commission.
As It's Always Sunny's volunteer week draws to a close, Charlie celebrates his kindergarten-level reading prowess with a solo Move Up Day, complete with a ceremonial cap and gown. Frank, seeking forgiveness for raiding the garden compost, offers a battery stolen from Mr. Johnson's car as a gesture of peace, which Gregory promptly instructs him to return. In a final, futile attempt to seduce Gregory, Dee makes one last play, dismissing his rejection as a result of his supposed homosexuality, a characteristic she erroneously attributes to his shorter stature. With the scoreboard successfully installed and their community service hours logged, Mac presents Ava with his paperwork, awaiting her signature. Hesitant to part ways with Mac's invaluable assistance, Ava's reluctance is short-lived when Mac reveals he's gone above and beyond by penning thank-you notes to the teachers. Incensed, Ava scrawls her signature, declaring her employees thrive on insults, and summarily dismisses Mac.
The episode concludes with the It's Always Sunny volunteers relishing hilarious one-on-one interviews with the documentary camera crew, recounting their memorable school experience. Frank sums it up best: "I tilled the soil, indulged in some fiber-rich sustenance, and Charlie learned to read. Community service, it's fantastic! Crime pays, plain and simple."
