In the heartfelt, albeit unconventional, denouement of "The Righteous Gemstones," Jesse and Judy Gemstone, accompanied by Kelvin, bestow upon their love-lorn father a long-overdue blessing to embark on a romantic journey with a woman other than their late mother. Their words, tinged with a blend of sentimentality and their trademark crude humor, serve as a Hallmark-like gesture, urging him to continue kindling his romantic spark, having finally reconciled with their qualms over Aimee-Leigh and expunged the mental image of their dad engaging in steamy antics with Ms. Lori at Galilee Gulch.
"Though Momma's absence leaves a void in our hearts, we find it oddly endearing that your old tricks still charm," Jesse remarks, while Judy adds, "Dad, whether it's Ms. Lori or any other toilet-guzzling skibidi, we're solidly behind you. Just know, if you catch an STD, don't come crying to me for a wet washrag to fish maggots out of your, well, you know where. I draw the line there."
John Goodman's Eli, unchanged by their graphic vulgarity, beams warmly, a smile brimming with appreciation only he could pull off. This tender moment marks a stark contrast from the audacious season premiere, which remains the pinnacle of this year's episodes. It unveiled the Gemstone ministry's humble beginnings, rooted in a deceitful con artist and criminal who posed as a Confederate soldier and narrowly escaped execution by faking his death. A sliver of redemption emerged; the imposter, in his final days, stumbled upon a spiritual awakening that echoed through generations of Gemstones. Yet, the golden Bible, a menacing relic symbolizing a family tree with corrupted roots, has largely been sidelined. Its potential to spark a monumental crisis, akin to those the Gemstones have weathered in past seasons, has faded into the background, supplanted by a more convenient narrative of forgiveness and forgetfulness—a theme warmly embraced by both the characters and the show that adores them.
The finale’s theme resonates deeply with acceptance and grace, tones that serve as a harmonious conclusion to the series. In a climactic moment, Vance Simkins, the infamous "flapping old vagina" himself, storms into the Cape & Pistols club, brandishing a yellow handkerchief to challenge Jesse to a duel. On the lawn, with pistols drawn at ten paces, Eli wisely reminds his son that the archaic by-laws compelling them to this high-noon confrontation hold no real power; Jesse could simply walk away if he chose. (Yet, Jesse feels trapped: “They’re all in rhythm, aligned against me.”) A wildly errant shot from Vance presents Jesse with a golden opportunity to embody turning the other cheek: “I don’t need a clandestine society or a duel to affirm my worth. Capes and pistols—such fripperies mean naught. It’s one’s actions that define a person. So, I yield. Today, I extend mercy to you, orphan.”
Scene after scene unfolds, each adhering to this theme of reconciliation. In his newly completed treehouse, Kelvin confidently confesses his fearlessness, not even trembling at the thought of a rainstorm’s “devil’s piss” or any other adversity. He pops the question to Keefe, rendering the Siegfried and Roy analogy—once a shield for their relationship’s plausible deniability—obsolete, especially after Kelvin’s victorious authenticity at the Top Christ Following Man competition. (“Perhaps their presence for the tigers isn’t vital, Keefe.”) This tender moment is sweetened by the show’s optimistic undertone that their union won’t dwindle the Gemstone church’s flock.
Subsequently, BJ and Judy dismantle the stripper pole that has been a marriage obstacle, symbolizing BJ’s quest for machismo and the regrettable mishap on stage. Tearing down the pole offers the writers one final frolic through a golden field of puns, but it also marks another step towards reconciliation, followed by Judy’s attempt to reunite BJ with the monkey she detests.
Even Baby Billy succumbs to the series’ overarching theme, collapsing on the set of Teenjus as production of the grand biblical epic nears its end. Throughout the season, he’s been chasing wealth, neglecting his wife and children while indulging in cocaine and siphoning money from the unstable Gemstone empire. Ultimately, a montage of haunting flashbacks, depicting his wife’s fruitless pleas for more family time, overwhelms him. Gazing up at a makeshift Golgotha, likely a repurposed local quarry, Billy surrenders, refusing to martyr himself for entertainment, despite the millions it would cost his nephews and niece. “I now know what truly matters,” he declares. “And it’s not spending all daypretending to be a teenager on a cross.”
The final shoe to fall is upon poor, bewildered Corey, who has grappled in vain with the loss of his father. Amidst a family weekend retreat by the lake, orchestrated by the Gemstones and the Milsaps to lift his spirits, Corey concludes a Michael Jackson impersonation with an unexpected demand: seven million dollars to redeem his father's gator farm from the clutches of the bank. This sum, he insists, is a just price for saving his own life. However, when Kelvin uncovers a gold Bible and a firearm hidden in Corey's luggage, a darker reality comes to light—Corey had colluded with his father to assault all of Lori's ex-boyfriends. This is how Eli and Baby Billy came across a delusional Big Dick Mitch imprisoned in a soundproof dungeon on the gator farm. With the secret exposed, Corey feels compelled to shoot all three Gemstone siblings, who, coincidentally, are the only ones not aboard the boat enjoying the lake.
In "The Righteous Gemstones," the harrowing scene of Jesse, Judy, and Kelvin slithering across the floor like worms, echoing Leonardo DiCaprio's drug-induced antics in "The Wolf of Wall Street," elicits a few chuckles amidst the chaos. ("I can't believe the Core-dog shot us," Kelvin mournfully laments.) Jesse manages to fire a fatal shot at Corey after Dr. Watson retrieves a handgun from his man-purse upstairs. Yet, even in this dire moment, the four of them find solace in prayer, seeking forgiveness together. Jesse's words, "We are imperfect beings striving to become something more," could serve as the overarching thesis for the series, which, despite its coarse language and satirical skewering of a culture that tolerates televangelist charlatans, retains a fundamentally sweet-natured essence. Ultimately, the show harbors a benevolent wish for these flawed characters, and its finale, for better or worse, feeds them this sentiment like a Communion wafer, symbolizing both their redemption and their continuing struggle.
