During a candid conversation with Lana Del Rey, the renowned singer-songwriter Billie Eilish opened up about her unique approach to relationships and the complexities of love. Eilish, a Grammy and Oscar winner, sat down for an interview with Del Rey for Interview magazine, where the latter delved into the "big" questions surrounding romance and interpersonal bonds.
"When one of your romantic relationships comes to an end, do you leave them with countless unanswered questions? Or are they left scratching their heads in confusion? Is the blame split 50-50? Is falling in love with you a more perilous endeavor, or is it more treacherous for you to embark on such a journey?" Del Rey inquired curiously.
Eilish responded with a wry smile, quipping, "That's a hefty question, Lana." She paused, seemingly lost in thought, before adding, "I'm not entirely sure. I guess it's probably about 50-50. The truth is, I despise the version of myself that emerges when I'm in love."
The artist, who was previously romantically linked to The Neighbourhood's frontman Jesse Rutherford before their split last year, revealed her struggles with being vulnerable in a romantic context. "I really dislike feeling out of control," Eilish confessed, "though there are certain aspects of losing control that I actually enjoy. I have issues with power and control, and I'm not comfortable showing my vulnerability in a romantic setting. It makes me feel uneasy, and I'm not even sure how many times I've truly been in love. Love, I believe, has different shades and intensities. You can be in love, but it might not be the deep, all-consuming kind."
Elsewhere in the interview, Del Rey expressed surprise over the candid lyrics in Eilish's latest album, Hit Me Hard and Soft, particularly in tracks like "The Greatest" and "Skinny". This prompted the "Video Games" singer to inquire if her friend and fellow musician ever gets hurt, despite her adeptness at concealing her emotions.
"It's interesting to be someone who doesn't outwardly show their sensitivity or complain," Eilish explained. "Many of the moments captured on this album are about situations where I thought, 'I'd rather suffer internally and have people think I'm cool than let them see me as hysterical and actually express my feelings.' So many songs on this album reflect that realization of, like, 'Maybe I'm obsessed with the idea of appearing nonchalant.'"
The "Lunch" singer continued, "I'd prefer to suffer silently than tell you something's bothering me and have you think I'm overly sensitive." Eilish also acknowledged that she can sometimes come across as "a person who doesn't care" in her relationships.
"I deeply care about people, and I have plenty of love and passion to give," she said. "But in my romantic relationships, I found myself never expressing my needs. It was eye-opening to notice this pattern, and that's what these lyrics are trying to convey. I almost resent myself for not speaking up for myself because maybe if I had, things would've been different. But I've always struggled with admitting my weaknesses."
