The episode kicks off with Colonel Patrick Quinn (Denis Leary) subjecting Corporal Elias Papadakis (Hal Cumpston) to cruel body-shaming remarks and subsequently suspending him from duty, just as General Davidson (Joe Morton) makes his entrance. In a desperate bid to avoid embarrassment, Quinn, alongside XO Major Abraham Shah (Danny Pudi) and Captain Maggie Quinn (Taylor Misiak), quickly conceal Papadakis in a closet.
Davidson, who arrives teeming with mockery aimed at Quinn and his position, informs him that his unit will serve as crossing guards for the upcoming tank maneuvers. As Davidson departs, Quinn and his team hatch a reckless plan to steal one of his tanks. Maggie, disgruntled by her diminished role and believing the mission to be asinine due to Quinn's career-risking antics, attempts to win Shah over to her side by pointing out the plan's numerous flaws, including Quinn's ineptitude in driving an 18-wheeler. Undeterred, Quinn instructs Sergeant Dana Conway (Laci Mosley) to secure him a driving instructor.
Feeling excluded from the mission, Maggie later approaches Conway to inquire about any way she could contribute. Conway reveals that obtaining the Heavy Equipment Transporter (HET) necessary to tow the disabled tank hinges on granting an immersive taste of American excess to a quirky Dutchman named Baas (Lolu Ajayi). Maggie eagerly volunteers for this role, while Quinn engages in his driving lessons with Katja Vanderhoff (Catherine Tate), initially to no avail.
Quinn's driving progress takes a turn for the better only when Katja realizes he's bringing his personal troubles into the cab. Sharing his struggles with working alongside Maggie, Quinn's performance markedly improves. Meanwhile, Maggie orchestrates an elaborate party for Baas, which Shah attempts to hijack. Baas' arrival is met with Shah's abysmal performance, prompting Baas to dismiss him outright. By this juncture, Quinn has nearly mastered the art of driving the 18-wheeler. Katja also helps him recognize his emotionally distant parenting style, suggesting a simple compliment could greatly improve his relationship with Maggie.
After sneaking out to ensure Shah hasn't returned to Baas' party, Maggie asks him about the experience of being the sole recipient of her father's attention and affection. Shah confesses that while it once felt ideal, lately it hasn't seemed sufficient. Quinn interrupts just as their conversation deepens, commending Maggie on the party but steadfastly refusing to elevate her role in the mission.
The following day, as the heist unfolded in earnest, Quinn and Shah discovered to their astonishment that they were pilfering a formidable German tank. Shah struggled to come to terms with this revelation, his frustration escalating when Quinn had to resort to his glasses to decipher the gear shift markings. Amidst their heated debate, someone swooped in and spirited the tank away from the back of the Heavy Equipment Transporter (HET).
Returning to the base, Quinn realized that Maggie had orchestrated the tank's theft solely to demonstrate her exceptional prowess. However, she overlooked a crucial detail: the plan was never to bring the tank back to the base, but rather to a secluded farm on the outskirts of town. Soon after, Davidson arrived in search of the tank, brandishing the threat of Quinn's expulsion from the Army. Maggie attempted to shoulder the blame, but Shah bought them precious time by feigning ignorance about the painting Baas had inadvertently included with the tank, claiming it was commissioned for the occasion.
While Davidson was engrossed in the painting saga, Maggie cleverly manipulated Quinn into concealing the tank in the Fromagerie's clandestine chamber, subtly planting the idea in his mind as his own. By the conclusion of the base tour, Davidson was fully convinced that the tank was hidden within the Fromagerie. Not only did he fail to uncover the tank, but his Captain informed him during their visit that no tank was listed as missing in the database. Quinn subsequently learned that Papadakis had erased the tank's entry from the database. In acknowledgment, Quinn told Maggie she had earned his admiration but sternly cautioned her against ever acting behind his back again.
The episode concludes with Quinn visiting Katja's brothel, where he extends an invitation for a casual coffee, hinting at a potential respite from the day's dramas.
