Hey there, did you all tune in to the Modern Family Awards on Sunday evening? The series absolutely dominated the comedy category at the 2011 Emmys, leaving a trail of potential critics poised to decry it as "overhyped!" or dismiss it with a casual "meh," should it ever falter from the sharp wit and cutting-edge humor that rivals Julie Bowen's striking clavicles. So, how did Modern Family's season opener fare? It was akin to Ty Burrell's Emmy acceptance speech: not exactly groundbreaking or revolutionary, tinged with a bit of sentimentality, yet undeniably endearing.
The episode kicks off with the entire brood (along with Dylan, whose waxy likeness could pass for a Madame Tussauds figure) embarking on a dude ranch vacation in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. The adventure includes skeet shooting, horseback riding (where Gloria's skills shine), adorable cowboy attire, and a smorgasbord of masculinity to dissect. Phil is convinced that when Jay utters, "Phil is my son-in-law," he actually means "Phyllis, my son-in-law," prompting Phil to hone his cowboy prowess in a bid to impress Jay with his machismo. (This particular narrative thread, minus the cowboy specifics, has been recycled before.) Cam and Mitchell are also on a macho mission, viewing the trip as a chance to toughen up the photo album they're compiling to wow potential adoptive moms – they yearn to adopt a baby boy! Meanwhile, Mitchell, hardly the ranch's strongest specimen, grapples with the Heteronormative Triple J: whether he's manly enough to raise a son ("I need to teach my son all the things my dad taught... Claire"). Luke dreams of setting off fireworks and witnessing "stuff explode into flying shards," while Manny, poor soul, just craves a spa session.
Tim Blake Nelson guest-stars as Hank, the authentic cowboy tasked with overseeing the city slickers but seemingly only interested in breaking in one filly – Gloria. Jay is predictably incensed. Credit where credit is due, Hank perceptively dubs Claire "Bossy," and Bossy she is, in full force when Dylan pops the question (gasp!) to Haley, only for Bossy to shoot it down before 17-year-old Haley can respond. Heartbroken Dylan bolts, and when a frenetic Haley and Bossy eventually track him down the next morning after an "I'm not a child anymore" heart-to-heart, Dylan reveals he's landed a gig as a ranch hand and is staying in Wyoming – for good. Huh? Did we miss the episode where Dylan became a master roper, or was Lost Creek Ranch desperate to fill a guitar-playing dreamboat role? Farewell, Dylan!
Haley isn't the only Dunphy sister in romantic turmoil: Alex experiences an unplanned first kiss with a brash Italian boy who resembles (both in looks and accent, "Hey, gorgeous!") Lady Gaga's male alter ego Jo Calderone, if Jo were auditioning for a minor role on The Sopranos. Definitely an odd casting choice, but it was refreshing to see Alex put down her Freakonomics and follow her hormones for once. Amidst an episode where most of the cast slipped into their usual roles (Gloria belting off-key tunes and screaming throughout the entire episode! Claire incessantly griping about Dylan!), it was heartening to witness some genuine character growth for Alex.
As Mitchell pondered the essence of masculinity amidst the prospect of adopting a son during their Jackson Hole trip (Could anyone really overlook the possibility that this child might embrace a homosexuality or sensitivity akin to Manny's, or perhaps have no interest in sports at all?), the second episode emerged as a sort of coming-out bash (pun intended) for the New Lily. The twins who embodied Old Lily held a special place in our hearts, serving as the perfect, straight-laced foil (or rather, baby) to Cam and Mitchell's over-the-top antics. If the Emmys had a category for Best Baby in a Comedy, those stoic twins would undoubtedly have garnered our vote.
Yet, New Lily presents a delightful surprise. Sure, she's adorable, but there's no forced cuteness or campy catchphrases here. Cam might still be more suited for a "Toddlers & Tiaras" competition than she is, but New Lily has a charm all her own. When she smiles, it's genuine, but she shines brightest when she's surly, especially when she deadpans about her future sibling: "No, I hate the baby." "I want to make the baby dead."
Mitchell believes Lily's resentment stems from her possessiveness over Cam, whom she clings to like a security blanket. Cam tries to detach himself from Lily, while Mitchell realizes she has issues with sharing, a trait her teacher attributes to parental influence. Cut to several instances of Mitchell being a poor sharer: "My chicken!" "My pillow!" "Daddy's pen!" So, whose fault is it that Lily is turning into a "pushy, entitled little monster"?
As Mitchell and Cam gather the family to announce their adoption news, it becomes evident that the blame game isn't exclusive to them.
In a scene where causality remains slightly hazy, Claire topples into a mountain of cans while grocery shopping with the obliviously clueless Phil. Claire insists Phil pushed her, while he vehemently denies any wrongdoing. Claire is convinced of her rightness, a sentiment she frequently asserts in the Dunphy household ("Alright, Claire, you're right. As always"). She then hijacks Mitchell and Cam's adoption announcement party to play a security tape she obtained from the grocery store, clearly showing Phil knocking her over. "I was right," she exclaims with glee. "Suck it!" The family's reaction is, rightly so, "You went to all that trouble just to prove you were right?" Yuk. While we've always loved Claire for her controlling nature, we fear she's venturing into hateful territory in season three.
Meanwhile, Manny stands accused of stealing a locket from a classmate, a charge Gloria vehemently denies until Jay interrogates him, and Manny sweatingly confesses. Jay ensures Manny didn't want to wear the locket (not being macho seems a worse offense than stealing, a recurring theme of the night), but Manny simply wanted it as a token of his latest crush. Gloria and Manny inform Jay that Manny confessed to the school principal, though Gloria actually let him off the hook. Jay sees through their charade. If Gloria is the sleekest of criminals, her sensitive accomplice buckles under Jay's scrutiny. When Jay finally extracts the truth from him, he gloats, "I was right!" Aha! So that's where the Pritchetts inherit their trait.
