Last night's installment of "Modern Family" showcased a breathtaking, seductively alluring figure with an enchanting exotic accent, raven-black, glossy tresses, and a curvaceous physique that stopped hearts — and praise be, for a change, it wasn't Gloria stealing the spotlight! Even more delightful, it was Claire who took center stage in objectifying beauty, as Gilles Marini (renowned for flexing his acting prowess as the Naked Guy in the "Sex and the City" film) portrayed a sexually enigmatic hunk that evoked Claire's inner Samantha Jones. Whenever "Modern Family" manages to free Claire from her OCD-ridden housewife persona and reminds us of her fun-loving essence, let us borrow Kim Cattrall's sultry tone to exclaim: Darling, it was nothing short of fabulous.
Manny, too, is inching towards manhood. As he poetically describes his latest crush Bella as "having recently blossomed like a purple lilac in April," Gloria instantly recognizes the telltale signs of "the pooberty." Later, when Manny receives a mysterious package and retreats to his room with it, Gloria's imagination runs wild (isn't it amusing how we embrace Manny's sophisticated romantic side but balk at the notion of him being a typical hormone-driven 13-year-old boy? Ewww). A panicked Gloria ponders if it's time to initiate "the talk" with Manny, but Jay is too engrossed in a bizarre Colombian soap opera — which he affectionately dubs as Spanish for "Big Hair and Yelling" — to offer much assistance. Ultimately, when Manny cries out, "Help! I'm stuck!" Gloria dispatches Jay, but it's not what anyone expects. Phew. Manny had been hanging upside down from a bar in his closet, hoping to stretch his height to impress Bella. The thought of using the $50 he squandered on the Lengthinator to purchase a two-year Playboy subscription never crossed his mind. "It's never too late to grow in life," reads the Lengthinator's brochure, which also doubles as the episode's Life Lessons voice-over. Jay vows to teach Manny how to work out to win over the ladies; Cam and Mitchell come to terms with the fact that leaving early isn't always a bad idea; Phil and Haley indulge in some lunch-tray sledding on the college greens; and Claire? We can only hope Claire appreciates that Julian pales in comparison to the dashing Clive Bixby.
