Typically, the Dunphy-Pritchett-Delgado-Tucker clan mirrors "The Simpsons" in that, after approximately twenty minutes of varied hilarity and assorted shenanigans, the narrative resets, leaving a clean slate for the ensuing week. However, in last night's penultimate episode, we were delighted to discern a few storylines weaving threads from previous installments.
The Pritchett-Delgados have faced their fair share of brushes with mortality this season — from Jay's emergency appendectomy to his brother's cancer diagnosis. Thus, it stands to reason that when Jay returns from the doctor with his left cheek sagging like a basset hound's, Gloria and Manny freak out a tad. He attributes it to a numbing cream applied by his dermatologist but, in reality, it's the failed aftermath of a Botox session. As Mitch quips, "Oh my God, you didn't!" Jay confides in a disapproving Gloria, "In my mind, I feel forty, but when I glance in the mirror, I think, 'Who's that old gent in the loo?'" She responds affectionately, "But I adore that old gent in the loo!" Manny pitches in to help, digging through his personal collection for a "Phantom of the Opera" half-mask, only to realize it covers the wrong side ("Let me see if I have a left-handed one."). We could have benefited from a deeper dive into why Jay, a man of stern resolve, would resort to injecting face-freezing bacteria for superficial reasons. When the truth unfolds to the entire family, Cam exclaims, "But you're a war veteran!" Indeed, it clashes with Jay's stoic, macho image. Again, though, so does adopting the most adorable TV dog ever, which he did last week. Fortunately, it seems like the puppy from last week will be sticking around! (If not, it certainly isn't because we found it, stole it, smuggled it back from L.A., named it Ernestine, and dressed it in little pink sweaters despite our steadfast anti-dog-clothes stance. No, definitely not.)
The Pritchett-Dunphys' dynamics took an intriguing turn this week, with a hint of Bad Cop Phil emerging and Good Cop Claire shining brighter than ever, presenting a delightful twist. It was Alex's middle-school graduation day, and she stood as the valedictorian, poised to deliver a speech that promised to be a tongue-lashing. Haley, throughout the episode, was in a race against time to prevent her sister from committing what could socially be a catastrophic blunder. The sisterly sparring this season has oscillated between warmth and strain, but lately, it has occupied center stage with increasing regularity. Last night's sisterly sparring was nothing short of excellent — and revealing: Haley admitted to Alex both her admiration for her beauty and her anxiety about college admissions, a revelation that left everyone stunned.
Meanwhile, Claire was overcompensating in her maternal instincts, pampering Alex with manicures and hairstyling assistance, driven by the impending reality of her baby girl transitioning to high school, as Phil revealed. Phil, on the other hand, was on the brink of an all-male escapade to Las Vegas, jesting, "'Guys, I can't go to Vegas because my wife's flipping out!' Believe me, that's a call you don't want to make to a group of former college cheerleaders. They'll taunt you mercilessly with a hurtful, rhythmic chant," another of our beloved recurring gags. He was putting considerable effort into provoking Claire's inevitable emotional breakdown, cooing, "Remember when you used to hold Alex like this?" as he hugged her while she clung to THE PUPPY, adding, "Remember the ending of Titanic?"
Just as they were about to head out for the graduation, the gate to Jay and Gloria's driveway malfunctioned, sending Phil into a state of delighted anticipation — an instant trigger for Claire's breakdown! And to add to the comic relief, Gloria devised the perfect escape plan: a tandem bicycle ("Jay bought it for us, but we never use it because my knees always bang into my boobs," a line that almost caused us to spit out our drink, marking our first near-spit-take of the season). They managed to toss the bike over the gate, with Phil and Claire following suit. (Here comes that cheerleader humor again!)
What ensued was arguably some of the most hilarious Phil and Claire chaos the show has ever offered: from their clumsy, desperate attempts to maneuver the bike, which eventually suffered a broken chain, to Claire's complete emotional collapse (middle-school graduation was when she felt she lost Haley, and now she was losing Alex too), to Phil's heroic yet excruciatingly embarrassing Spanish-speaking attempt; all the way to them frantically rushing towards the ceremony, shoes in hand. Their absurd, gravity-defying tumble down the hill, timed perfectly with the beginning of Alex's speech, was a sight to behold. It was beautiful in its absurdity. And it was undeniably hilarious.
The Pritchett-Tuckers' Saga
We're hardly enthusiastic about yet another narrative thread entangling Mitchell and Cameron in a spat, but fortunately, this particular installment served merely as a catalyst for a series of comical blunders. It presented Eric Stonestreet with numerous golden opportunities to reinforce his status as one of television's finest physical comedians. Picture this: While regaling everyone with tales of animal births he had witnessed during his childhood, he trips and plummets into an enormous inflatable baby pool. Checkmate, scenario one. Then, the pool bursts beneath him, adding a splash of humor to the equation. Checkmate, scenario two. Next, he strides confidently—or so he thinks—straight into a plate-glass sliding door. Absolutely. And to cap it all off, after regaining his composure, adjusting his hat with a flourish, and opening the door, he walks straight into the screen on the other side. Now, that's entering the realm of The Three Stooges territory.
Cam, predictably, flies into a rage if anyone dares to chuckle at his misfortunes. However, Mitchell, and subsequently the rest of the Pritchett clan, can scarcely contain their laughter. Later, when Phil and Claire lose their footing and topple down the hill, Cam too finds himself chuckling—for he, too, is but a mortal, after all.
